1 post tagged “run ons of a destroyed woman”

I don't have your real email address or the keys to your heart/head and you won't let me out so I keep locking myself in when you leave and I don't know what to do about your selfdefeating habits and I can't tell you about mine because you might hate me and know that you could hurt me so easily so I just sit here and make you hate me and not bother telling you that if you hurt yourself I'm never going to talk to you again because I can't lose another friend and you're more than that to me but I can't tell you that yet because I might lose you and then you would know that you hurt me and that might weigh heavier but I doubt you care so maybe if I say everything in one big long run on sentence you might get bored and stop reading and never know this ache.
And every email I get, I reply to like hate mail because I'm in love with you and they might never know that, but certainly you never will and that frustrates and infuriates me but I'll never do anything about it because I'm certainly not that motivated even though I'm drinking my hot tea faster than I care to and being manic about washing my face and smelling nice and putting my hair up so you can see my neck and I'm in love with you and I want you to leave so I don't have to worry about you reciprocating because I know you're not going to be around long enough to do that because no one ever is.
If you expect things to get easier, they wont.
This isn't about you.